my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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