you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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