So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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