I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
