We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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