ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
