I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
is that a dick in a sweater?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
