she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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