forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
