apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize