I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
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I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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