I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
