Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
