i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
