my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
