I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
