Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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