the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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