remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
