I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
