dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
