I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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