I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
