Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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