it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
