The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
