yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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