but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
