We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
