Nicole vs. Life
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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