apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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