come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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