I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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