Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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