ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
