I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
