His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just pee around me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
