i think i have herpe
just one?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
