new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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