Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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