Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
