It's like God shit irony all over that family
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
