So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
