Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
