thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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