Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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