pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I forgot wine drunk hurts
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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