we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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