once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
