He is such a slut. More and more my type.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think my moral compass just broke
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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