Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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