so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
