Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize