I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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