apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
