Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
