This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
