if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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