What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She even gives head with a lisp.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
