I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
