There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
