He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
